walking away from my problems

if i stay in constant motion, i never have to be still with my thoughts

on any given day, if you ask me what i’m up to, there’s a really good chance i’ll say “i’m on a walk right now” or “i just went on a really long walk” or even “i’m just about to go on a walk.” in the last 8 months especially, i’ve been going on very long walks, either running many errands with some gallivanting in between, or going on a walk to a specific place to wander around, explore, maybe take photos, or just leaving my house and seeing where my feet take me.

this has become my favourite pastime because it fulfills a lot of different things i need to feel sane: leaving my relatively small one-bedroom apartment, getting fresh air, movement, exercise (i’m a very fast walker), seeing other people (whether strangers or familiar faces), giving myself the space to think, and sometimes giving myself something to think about other than whatever is plaguing me.

i feel like a lot of bad, amorphous things live in the physical space between the walls of my apartment. experiences, past feelings and emotional breakdowns, physical pain, mistakes, spirals. i’ve cried in every square foot of my living space, in my bed, on the couch, on every carpet, on every inch of floor, in every chair, on the bathroom tiles, in the tub, sitting on the counter, pacing, looking out the window.