a belated 25 things i learned in 25 years
but useful? maybe?
if you didn’t know, i am a listicle bitch. i’ve written many, read many, love them to death. deeply underrated when not done for SEO purposes.
and i turned 25 back in february, which i guess is a milestone? so it came to me that i should write one of those “25 things i learned in my 25 years” listicles but it won’t be like “be true to yourself” and “don’t listen to the haters.” i want to share genuinely interesting things i’ve learned and internalized over the years that might help anyone who hasn’t considered these before. plus, if substack is a blog, this is basically a required post for me to write. so here it goes:
1. there is such a thing as too much water
every time i have ever thought “i need to drink water” i drink too much and get a headache. it can genuinely ruin my day. also peeing way too much suddenly sucks. just drink a normal amount of water with a good pace and this won’t happen to you.
2. that being said, straws will help you drink more water, i almost guarantee it
drinking anything with a straw is a more pleasant experience. once i got a cold tumbler with a reusable straw, my water intake became so normal i actually stopped being dehydrated for once. it’s truly amazing how big a difference it makes.
3. don’t idolize famous people
i have a bad habit of idolizing and obsessing over the many talented people in the world who i feel make things that i can relate to, like comedians, musicians, writers, etc. but so many times those people i’ve idolized end up doing something egregiously horrible (louis c.k. was one of my favourite comedians, as an example.) so now when i find out about someone whose work i really like, i’m careful to not get too invested because there’s always a chance they end up being horrible! it’s about protecting your heart, but not denying yourself enjoyment of their work too.
4. do not walk away from the frying pan
too many times i have walked away from a frying pan full of oil i just turned on the heat only to come back a few minutes later to smoking oil. sometimes it’s easier to not trust yourself and just stay there til it’s time to start cooking.
5. don’t stop playing your instruments
i had a really bad bout of depression for many years that caused me to lose interest in all the instruments i played (which i was actually getting pretty good at) and i ended up losing a lot of the skill i gained. at least try to find parts of them that spark interest or passion so you don’t give up and have to start from the beginning again. it’s always worth it to play instruments.
6. bad movies are good movies
why would you spend 3 hours watching an award-winning blockbuster film when you can watch something low budget, horribly written and tacky that you will actually remember forever?
7. astrology is fun even if its pseudoscience
don’t deny yourself the joy of reading your horoscope or getting a birth chart reading. it’s all fun, don’t take it too seriously, and enjoy learning about the history of it all. people who hate it are boring losers.
8. learn to cook, i mean it. seriously.
this might seem obvious, but you need to learn how to cook. there will be times where you have no money, random shit in your fridge and pantry and need to put together something that tastes good, because that matters. watch cooking shows that require utilizing specific ingredients like beat bobby flay and guy’s grocery games, they helped me massively in understanding what ingredients work with what and how to make something great out of seemingly nothing.
9. the political views of your friends and family do matter. a lot, actually
i think a lot of people try to remain “neutral” when it comes to the political views of friends and family so as to not create tension or alienate anyone, even to the point of politics being a taboo topic. but life is significantly better when you talk to people about political views, challenge theirs and give them the opportunity to learn and grow. everyone has the ability to change when presented with differing ideas. and if people hear you and still don’t change, it’s okay to not talk to them. it’s fine to cut ties with people who don’t believe in your and your friends’ humanity. i’ve cut ties with people for political differences plenty of times, but only after giving them chances to hear me out and consider what i’m saying.
10. appreciate your surroundings
look at the moon and learn what phase its in. go to the beach at low tide and walk out as far as you safely can, feeling the tiny crabs beneath your feet. watch the waves and watch the seagulls drop mollusks on the beach to open their shells. take note of the first bumblebee you see at the end of winter. learn the birds that land on the trees and bushes outside your window. learn to identify new plants. taking in the details and appreciating the way the natural world is moving and changing around you will ground you in your environment.
11. write the little details down
write about the things you see. describe the magnet you just put on the fridge, write down every detail of the blister on your heel from breaking in new shoes, and do a good stream of consciousness writing exercise from time to time. you don’t have to be a Writer™, and you don’t have to find the perfect word for everything. but practicing this will make you better at taking in detail, and pondering these things can help expand your vocabulary as you search for the right words to describe your situation. this sort of thing helped me a lot for writing poetry, but it also helps you appreciate the beauty in your life, and the utility of words.
12. learn new words and use them lots
using big words isn’t a dorky or big-headed thing to do. expanding your vocabulary gives you the right words to say what you want to say, and challenges you to think of new ways to formulate your ideas. if anyone calls you pretentious you can tell them to fuck off! reading the dictionary or looking up synonyms for specific words is great.
13. free yourself from the concept of a “guilty pleasure”
you can enjoy pop music and reality TV and fun drinks. it’s okay to like things even if you think others look down on it. own it, get a tattoo of it, indulge in it, you only have this life to live and you might as well enjoy your time here.
14. don’t bully people just because you think they’re cringe
if you come across a tiktok that you feel is cringe because of the person’s speech patterns or behaviour, you can just scroll by it and forget about it. you’re not the target audience, you don’t need to make a scene about it, and you will likely just hurt someone for no reason other than the will to be cruel. making fun of people online should be done sparingly only for the purpose of punching up.
15. don’t buy a bunch of plants if you struggle to take care of yourself
you will likely forget to water them for a prolonged period of time, they will die and you will feel worse. just focus on yourself and making sure you can properly care for yourself before trying to take care of something else that requires nurturing.
16. you don’t have to go on walks to get fresh air
i constantly feel like i need to get some fresh air, and i often lack the energy i need to go on walks to get it. sometimes sitting by an open window for five minutes and breathing in crisp fresh air is enough. the best air is cold morning air in the spring and summer, or winter air in the night time when its extra cold. but don’t do that if cold air is your asthma trigger, obviously.
17. try to make friends in unexpected places
some of the most interesting people i’ve met were in places i didn’t expect to make meaningful connections. i’ve made friends with many old tinder matches, and even met some genuinely nice people on omegle. i still think about my neopets friends from 2003 that i lost contact with. be nice to people in your day to day life and you never know where you might find a friend.
18. if you are in university, join your university newspaper
there’s a good chance it’ll be extremely fun, and there is more to do there than just write. whether its a tiny paper with one editor and two writers or a big, long-running paper, you will make great memories there and learn a lot of important life skills that apply to way more than journalism.
19. experiment with your personal style
if you can afford to, definitely try out the styles you want to try, and find what makes you feel most like you. don’t go for microtrends and avoid fast fashion. buying used clothes or making your own clothes can be a really cost-effective and low-waste way to express yourself and find your favourite ways to dress. if you don’t have the money to do that yet, building up boards on pinterest or researching different styles can be a fun way to plan ahead. there’s even a good chance you can take what you have and alter it or style it in new ways that you love!
20. if you’re mentally ill, treating it won’t make you “lose your spark” or become less creative
my mental illnesses actually killed my creativity! i couldn’t do anything but i was scared i’d be boring or less interesting if i was more stable for a while. now that i’ve been in counselling consistently for four or five years, i can say my mind is clearer and i can actually focus on making good things instead of being consumed in anxiety 24/7. i still struggle a ton and have regular panic attacks and long-term depression, but i can manage it better than before and i live a happy and successful life.
21. work on projects and hobbies you love, not for profit but because you genuinely love them
living your life of just school/work —> eat —> sleep —> repeat gets tiring and depressing. having something to do other than scroll or watch tv really helps you create value and meaning in life. this can be anything from painting to volunteering to journaling. making tangible things or tangible change will make you feel more fulfilled in your life, and if what you’re trying isn’t doing that for you, there’s no shame in trying something else.
22. reading more often will make you a more skilled reader
i’m a terribly slow reader and i often take way too long to read a page because i get super hung up on little details, or my inner monologue reading the words aloud and slows the whole thing down. but when i was working on my english literature degree, especially near the tail-end of it, having to read a lot more made me a faster, more efficient reader. i learned what worked for me to absorb information and it got to the point where i could read a novel in a day or two. my favourite strategy was calculating my words/minute and then how long it would take me to read a page, and extrapolating how long it would take me to read each chapter based on how many pages were in it. then i could create time slots and limits for reading each chapter to find out how long it would take me to read it. i was not only able to manage my time better, but i also knew how much i could reastically read before my class or exam. this strategy is admittedly a little insane so it’s not for everyone.
23. learn to understand your emotions and name them
one of the most helpful things i learned in therapy was to take the time to identify my emotions, name them, and say where i’m feeling those. it helped me really understand the root cause of my reactions and gain insight on the deeper reasons why i feel bad. for example, when i have felt upset over criticism in the past, i feel that deep in the pit of my stomach like a punch. then i realized the feelings i was feeling were shame, inadequacy and loneliness, because i’ve been made to feel those things for being incorrect or being misunderstood. understanding this got me to work on my reactions to criticism and get to a place where i can take honest criticism at face value rather than react against it out of self-defense.
24. learn to communicate effectively with cats
cats are great at being direct with us through body language, but humans often treat cats like dogs. dogs are nicer and more accepting of being pet, hugged, or other physical contact (usually). cats are more “my way or the highway,” and learning to understand cats’ cues and signals is a useful skill to show off how good you are at understanding cats the next time you meet a cat at a party or on the street. being nice to cats is also a hot person trait.
25. get your hands on an air purifier
either buy one or make a corsi-rosenthal box for a bit cheaper. they’re so handy during wildfire season so you don’t breathe in smoke in your house, and they’re helpful at filtering covid particles out of the air in closed spaces. they also help with allergens and mold. everyone can benefit from an air purifier.