26 more things i've learned in 26 years
with no overlap from last year's 25 things, here are even more things i've learned in my life so far.
last year i did a belated 25 things i learned in 25 years post that people really seemed to enjoy! so since i just turned 26 yesterday, i wanted to do another one of those posts, but with no overlap from last year of course. i know a lot of my subscribers here are younger than me, so hopefully some of the things i’ve learned throughout my life so far can be useful for you all.
i’ve been pondering a lot about aging, being in my late 20s and what the rest of my life holds lately, so expect some more writing on this (free and paid) in the weeks/months to come. but now’s the time for some wise words from a very unwise young person.
1. way more people are flirting with you than you realize
people are so hard to read. like so fucking hard. i never know when people are flirting with me and went through life thinking i was undesirable in so many ways. and then once in a while people will just tell me years later they were hardcore flirting with me and i couldn’t tell, or a friend will tell me that someone was flirting with me at a party and i accidentally shut it down because i read it as friendliness. basically if you think nobody has any romantic interest in you you’re most likely wrong and have been missing it your whole life!
2. ventilation is extremely important
this is true in so many areas, it’s kind of crazy. frequently air changes are integral for preventing the spread of infectious diseases like covid-19 and any other airborne virus, and the fact that governments aren’t mandating that buildings be retrofitted with proper ventilation systems is quite frankly criminal.
it’s not only about covid though, stagnant air that’s high in carbon dioxide literally makes your cognitive function decline. open a fucking window!
and if you’re the type of person who cooks everything on high heat and you let your oil start smoking because you put anything in it, for the love of god, get a cross breeze going and turn on that range hood. also, in light of recent conversations about gas stoves, i should mention that they are really fucking bad for your indoor air quality and lung health!
3. watch shows you think you might not like
a lot of the shows and movies i ended up enjoying the most were ones i didn’t expect to enjoy. i spent years not really liking lena dunham for a whole host of reasons, so i just assumed i would hate Girls. turns out it’s one of the best shows i’ve ever watched. i also recently started watching the Star Wars films after a whole life of resisting, thinking it wasn’t for me, but oh my god, i love them!
4. don’t leave your fiddle leaf fig on the balcony all summer without watering it
i did this over the summer and the plant literally lost almost every single leaf. i’m trying to grow it back to life and it’s hard. i also accidentally killed a rosemary bush and an olive plant this way.
5. seasonal colour theory is helpful if you want to blend in
a lot of people have been interested in seasonal colour theory over the last year, and i think it’s really helpful if you’re not very knowledgable about colours and need some guidance on how to dress in ways that don’t make you stand out too much. but if you’re trying to make a statement with the way you dress rather than look “harmonious,” it’s helpful to incorporate things that aren’t one of “your colours.”
6. vacuum often
dust builds up fast in places you can’t see, and if you have a pet this is even more true. also, empty the bag/canister often.
7. daily walks actually work, as annoying as that is to hear
i started going on more regular walks in the past year and i have to say, it’s actually been really great for my health overall. i have more energy every day, i’m noticing my endurance getting better, and i’m happier. however i did recently get caught in a hail storm 1 km away from my house and had to run home while getting pummelled by pellets. i don’t think it really makes a difference how long you spend, or if you go slow or fast, or if you’re on feet or wheels, being outside for a bit will make you happier.
8. you might be a morning person and not even realize it
my entire life i thought i was a night owl because i liked being up late, and as i get older i realize more and more that i just liked that because i was alone. i actually work way better in the morning when i’m alone, and seeing the sun rise makes me incredibly happy. i know i sound like a freak, but try it out and see if it works. if it doesn’t work, you have either confirmation that you are, indeed, a night owl, or perhaps look into the possibility of a sleep disorder like delayed sleep phase disorder.
9. daily planners are wildly helpful
if i don’t write something down within 3 minutes of thinking about it, i will forget it forever. and if i don’t plan out my entire day in writing in a notebook i will not do anything for the whole day. i slogged my way through my degree almost never doing this and it could’ve been so much easier if i actually planned shit out.
10. ordering in less often is good for your wallet and your brain
i’ve been tracking my finances for the last little while and by far the biggest expense i have other than rent and student loan payments is food delivery. when i started to get scared about the recession and the possibility of being laid off, i cut back my food deliveries to once a week. it made such a huge difference for my finances!
it’s also a nice challenge to think about what you can make with what is currently in your fridge or pantry. can you repurpose leftovers to be more interesting, what can you do to elevate beans and rice, can you make a pasta sauce out of condiments and one canned food? try it!
11. sealing leaks in your home makes a difference
cold drafts during cold snaps or air conditioned air leaking out? yuck! i got very cheap adhesive foam to line one of my doors that was super drafty and it helped a ton.
12. you don’t have to text back right away
if someone is waiting by their phone for you to immediately write back, they are a sociopath. anyone worth your time can wait for you. you do not have to text back while you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone, you don’t have to write back if you’re at work, and nobody can convince me otherwise.
13. don’t keep things from your therapist
keeping things from my therapist out of fear, embarrassment and guilt really did not do me any favours! i wish i was honest earlier on. we had that element of trust very early on, but there are some major traumas that i didn’t disclose to her until very recently. i’ve been seeing my therapist for five years.
14. the best characters are the unlikable ones
nobody likes a perfect person. my favourite characters are the ones that mirror traits about myself that i hate. i will never understand why people hate characters who are bad people when they are always the most complex. so if you hate a character in a show or movie or book, ask yourself if maybe you hate them because you see yourself in them. or maybe they’re just poorly written, who knows!
15. do nice things for your parents
if your parents were there for you growing up and didn’t hurt you, it’s good to do nice things for them too. they spent a lot of money, time and effort raising you, and while you technically don’t owe them shit because you never asked to be born, it’s the nice thing to do. buy your mom lunch once in a while and let your dad talk for an hour about the thing he’s interested in this month. bring them cookies out of the blue or invite them over for dinner. they’ll be proud of the person they raised even more.
16. never trust a billionaire
i don’t think i have to explain this one. this also goes for people who call themselves entrepreneurs, regardless of net worth.
17. taking selfies doesn’t make you self-absorbed
when i was growing up, selfies were shameful. it was called being an “attention whore” if you uploaded more than one picture of yourself per month. the tag on tumblr for selfies was GPOY, which means “gratuitous picture of yourself.” in reality, it’s never gratuitous. post away without shame. people want to see you.
18. on that note, it’s okay to seek attention
humans need attention! we are social! just don’t let your attention seeking be a self-destructive thing. you can tell people you’re lonely and you can be honest with yourself about it too. post a bunch of strange tweets in a row like you’re throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. post selfies for likes. curate your instagram stories so your crush sees you. do what you have to do as long as it’s not harming yourself or others.
19. take long breaks from social media
it’s fucking exhausting to exist online. take a week off every once in a while, from one site or multiple. in 2021 i went on vacation to an island nearby for a week and only looked at my phone for 15-30 minutes in the morning to read the news and that’s it. i caught up when i got back. you can do that from the comfort of your own home too. we all need to unplug more often than we do.
20. you probably don’t need to buy new clothes
if you have clothes in your closet without holes that keep you covered in any weather, you do not need to buy more. reuse what you have, rewear what you’ve ignored, and get creative. don’t buy new, buy second hand. there’s too much textile waste and you don’t need to create more. and for the love of god, NO SHEIN HAULS. you can find affordable clothing elsewhere without supporting awful business practices.
21. looking different is fun and cool
i’m not opposed to cosmetic procedures, but i am opposed to everyone getting the same things done and looking identical. it’s genuinely scary when i can’t tell people apart because they have the same button noses and jawlines, do the same makeup techniques and have the same amount of filler in their lips. embrace at least some of your unique features, or possibly go in the other direction from the beauty standard. blending in with the rest will still make you pretty, but standing out will make you memorable.
22. people with emojis in their name signalling a political position or otherwise are not to be trusted
i don’t care whether we agree on something, if you have a blue wave, ukraine flag, american flag, vaccine emoji or anything else like the hammer and sickle unicode or any other signal of your politics in your display name, stay away from me! it’s tacky and rather than signalling your opinions through emoji, just demonstrate it through your words and actions.
23. take breaks
you don’t need to work every day of your life, and on your days off you don’t have to be thinking and doing and all that shit. just sit for a while. stare at the ceiling. do literally nothing. it’s good for you and a lot of us never take the time to do it.
24. your personality is far more important than your appearance
i feel like i don’t need to explain this one much but i’ll just say i’d way rather talk to a person who can talk to me for 8 hours about wikipedia articles they read this week rather than a hot person who hikes a lot.
25. vertical blinds are the worst kind
my apartment got so hot this summer because my vertical blinds kept literally no heat or sunlight out. fuck vertical blinds. do not buy them, and if you are renting a place with them, i recommend putting up curtains as a second line of defence.
26. most people aren’t truly altruistic, but it’s good to live more altruistically
do things out of love and care for others, don’t be self serving. don’t expect things in return for good deeds, do them because you love to help. if you feel jaded and bitter towards most people, i totally get it, but there are ways to find hope and show love for the world around you. meditate on the things that enrich your life and the things you have to give to others. i feel a lot happier when i do good deeds expecting nothing in return.